Average

 hmmm,, aku tengah study, not like serious study as i have just watched a recorded lecture of the very first day of class which ive never watch before. and tengah tengah aku termenung tu, aku baru perasan yang selama ni, aku tak pernah kesah pasal markah ? 

markah. yeah, markah exam, markah assignment. but i think, i do want a great markah untuk projek. but i still wondering, why i didnt even notice the importance of these marks? tapi sekarang, lepas aku perasan kepentingannya pon aku still tak berapa nak kesah. but i still want the best tho, walaupun aku tak usaha sedaya upaya. ehehe.

living in one room with Leen making me absorb more or less of her habits. and vise versa. its making my anxiety grows and im starting to see things from the introvert views. overthinking. and much more. im actually scared to have more sem in the same room as her. im scared that i would become more like her. i dont want to inherit something that is bad for me. 

aku perasan benda ni time sem 7 degree, which is the current sem. 

for the subject msg427 that is environmental something punya subject, aku dapat markah like rendah gilee untuk video project. since the coursework is 60% now that its online learning, the project worth 15% out of 60. and i got 6% only. and test 1 i got 0 out of 10%. I literally FREAKED OUT. korang tak pernah tau bertapa relaxnya aku ni, sampaikan dulu every test aku dapat 1 or 2 or 5 out of 30, and i felt nothing, and i survived without failed and didnt affect my cgpa that much, and now im FREAKING OUT because of 2 marks. im scared and im overthinking thingsss.. i cried. i think about it over and over again. and at the end of it i realized that i become her. i lose track of myself. 

i started to kinda resent her. i do sayang dia as my friend. actually, i resented myself for becoming more like her and follow her habits which includes the negative one. 

but thank god, aku dapat diri aku balik lepas reflect banyak kali, and exam pon aku tak gelabah dah. aku tak tau sejak bila aku gelabah dalam exam, which has never happened before. 

thats all,, bye.